My Gratitude for Peter Benson

I am angry—angry at the unfairness of life, angry that one so young had to die so soon, angry that cancer took away one of our community’s greatest assets, .

I’ve been stomping around my house lately trying to figure out what was wrong with me, why I was so angry, until I realized that what I was doing was grieving the loss of Peter.

Several years ago, before her retirement, my mother worked at Search Institute with Peter Benson and on occasion as a teenager or during college, I would be hired to work a few days or weeks, stuffing envelopes or doing some entry level clerical work at Search. Peter Benson was someone who stuck out in my mind during those times, because, as busy as he was doing research or running the company, he would stop and take the time to talk to me and ask me questions.

Those who have been a teenager in Peter’s presence know what I mean. He was the kind of guy to ask you questions about what was going on in your world, or to ask you your opinion on some national or international issue and then—and here’s the key—attentively listen to all you had to say. You never got the impression that he had somewhere else to be, or that should your question get too long he would lose interest. You got the impression that he had asked you a question as if you were the President of the United States and anything you said was of great importance to him.

Now I know that this may have just been his way of asset building, based on Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents. For example, his listening to me might have been asset #3—Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults or #7—Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. But if this was asset building in any way, I think it was purely unconscious. Peter loved youth, and how they thought and what made them tick and what gave them spark.

And for now I stomp around my house but sometimes now I stomp and cry. I cry for the one we have lost to cancer, for the one who meant so much to me and to the community.

God bless you, Peter Benson! May this next chapter in your soul’s journey be free and full—free of pain and full of joy. Look over us now as we try to muddle along here on earth without you. And give us the courage and the spark to engage in meaningful and thoughtful conversation with the next teenager we meet.